It’s a biological matter but also a mental and mostly a cultural one. Fact is that old and modern cultures often bring in a luggage loaded with good and shiny intentions which sometimes fit and some other times don’t.
Somewhere in the world, when you turn 12, or 13, or 15, ritual ceremonies will mark your coming of age. In other places, your 20th or 21st birthday will be tagged with the extra show making you officially an adult. It depends on factors like education or tradition. Now that’s a sensitive matter and I have no intention delving into it. Not my business.
And what’s my business then?
As a mother of four, with three daughters, my clear business is to see them make and live a marriage at least as happy as I do. Luck and fortune are probably playing a good part in all this mating game, for sure. But some say there’s no luck but God. What can I do then? Nothing more than teaching my young ladies about the best contraception method known to man, and woman: avoid intercourse. Notice that this essential detail has less to do with avoiding romance.
Still, if you’re a gal and plan to further your studies on to the best college you’ve heard of, then starting your sex live, with intercourse, before going to college sounds like an almost certain recipe to screw up your professional or creative perspectives. A deception-free romance before coming of age proves as imaginary as the legendary Unicorn from fairy tales.
Let aside the wasted time with the invasive male distraction, you may even get pregnant. Wow! Believe me, it happens when jolly semen boys meet your egg in the womb, then BANG, a new life comes to earth and you’re called to mother her. Gone your college wonderful times. And make no mistake, evening classes are like shared hosting: nothing compared to the power of shelling in as root.
Gone your gracious and natural coming of age. Why so? Because a teen mother is a child forced to mother another child. You can’t ripe into adulthood anymore, but you have to, regardless if you want it or not. Simply put: you have no choice left. Gone your liberty!
Now about the incidental father. Do you think he’s romantic? That’s a stretch at best. Boys are usually out hunting for trophies. Once he laid you, you’re a marked target on his hit list. Sooner or later he’s gonna run after new flesh. Of course, exceptions may harden the rule, which ain’t helping you out of dreamland in any particular way.
Woo, guess I’d be a dragon-in-law. Depends. All it takes is talking to responsible young adults. Because coming of age is ultimately a matter of responsibility.