Tuesday was the International Women’s Day. And because our experience within the communist system was not exactly as wonderful as advertised, we do not celebrate this kind of holidays.
Nevertheless, my hubby tries his best, I can tell, to show and celebrate his admiration, respect and love for women on a daily basis. “Why fix one day a year if true men will love you, ladies, on every day of the year?” Says Don. Why should I argue with him about equality, affirmative action, emancipation?
Do I want to be equal with my hubby? I don’t think so. Because I suspect that I am already more than equal to him. He uses to say that I’m his better, finer, more beautiful, graceful half. He venerates me to a degree that would be sadly leveled down if I’d claim equality in our marriage. The reality between men and women (in my opinion) is complementarity and not equality.
Take it from the evolutionary perspective (if you believe in that tale) and take it from the social one (from whatever angle you approach it) and realize that men are built for the hard stuff and women for the delicate and subtle aspects of life. From ancient to modern times, clever women always discovered a way to control their men, be it in some forgotten tribe, be it in ancient Egypt, the Sultan’s Harem or in the Hofburg Palace.
Yes, individual women and not masses (classes?) of women. Because what would be left of you if an amorphous mass would wipe out your personality, your individuality, your grace? We cannot charm (or, if you want, read: rule over men), if we’re no-name! We need to be counted as individuals, as distinct personalities. Our true emancipation begins with finding our inner self, our identity, within us. This is what makes a unique house celebrity out of each of us. Take Heidi Klum, a mother of four, a devout housewife and a world known celebrity. In the presence of her husband, she offers, err, donates, her red string to Jay Leno, during a public reception:
“Well you can have my underwear,” she said, reaching for them through the high slit in her dress. “You want my underwear?”
“Jay will like that,” Matthews said with a laugh as she tucked them into the bag. Sure, it could have all been an elaborate stunt to mess with Leno’s head, but he seemed pleased to receive them just the same.
Looks like a vulgar gesture to the old school bigots. To me it also looks like a lady in control. Heidi knows how (and why), to charm men, she knows the ancient art of mastering them. This is what I call “women’s power,” ladies!
Sure, some women wish to drive trucks, to pilot planes, to win a fist fighting or two. They just want to be like men! “Sure do, go on ladies, enjoy being like men: build a beer belly, swear and do unreverential things in public,” would rant Don. Question is: what is making you a lady? Why do you want to imitate men, to be equal with them, to give up the advantages of being a lady?
“This woman lives in a world of ponies and unicorns!” I can hear most of my gender sisters mumbling. Well, maybe I am. Because, these days, it is hard to find enough Gentlemen to please us all. But I’ll dare say that the primitive man, in most cases, can be shaped by his lady into a fine Gentleman. I’m talking here from personal experience and not from books or the Wikipedia…
All men are born primitive, see the previous post written by hubby. But no man is immune to the charming of one or more ladies. Actually, any lady may turn the mind, and head, of a man if she so desires. It is just a matter of time, gestures and, above all, words! Yes, your voice, your intonation, your elect measured and honeyed words, they are the most powerful weapon of the woman inside you. The coarse civilization of modern times pays too much attention to curves, plastic breasts, make ups and hair extensions. Wrong!
Work out regularly, eat selectively and you’re a born beauty. Exaggerated extensions to the natural beauty of your body make minute impressions for brutal or frugal guys. I suppose you are not dreaming too much about this type of man, or do you?
Learn how to measure your words, how to speak short and how to spend a conversation by listening most of the time. Double your few words with shy, but telling, looks, and you will have sensitive men at your feet. No need to fulfill their rudimentary fantasies, remember that you’re the one in control over the situation –unlike in the other case, when you show yourself up as a Barbie doll ready to get pierced by the brutal instincts that you’re awakening in men.
Simply play your mystery out of (or in) the situation. For instance:
1. A casual situation: the lady needs, requires, a formal favor; she smiles, she glances, she sighs with an articulated voice, she gets what she wants; giving nothing in exchange.
2. A regular situation: the lady captures (with above mentioned methods) the attention of a designated number of male minds; she uses, or guides, the men following a proposed goal of hers; men oblige to her more than she would have to pay if there would be no charming involved in the equation.
3. Marriage: the young lady FEELS that this “target” should be the man she wants to grow old with; she applies points 1. and 2. above as long as it takes to get the man marry her and venerate her; she gives up her social freedom, her chance to be equal to all men out there, her perspectives of emancipation against all odds, she even gives up her father’s name; she scores the highest on happiness, because there’s nothing to satisfy a lady more than a husband mad in love after her.
Because everything sums up in love, after all.