Bald Buddies are So Sexy


A study, published in the March issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, informs us that hair loss treatment drugs can render a man irreversibly impotent. USA Today writes that:

“Use of dutasteride (Avodart) and finasteride (Proscar and Propecia) were linked to erectile dysfunction, depression and loss of libido in a review of existing studies. In a small percentage of cases, symptoms persisted even after the medication was stopped.”

Well, this is a sad outcome for men that were vulnerable in the first place. Because early baldness acted like a psychological inhibitor for these men. They took it as the main “disease” to be treated and then expecting the new hair growth “healing” in terms of: “Just hang on!, chicks will come.” Then what?…

It’s no news that the marketing industry caters to insecure people, men or women. The beauty industry sells a particular type of (tall and slim) model, like sort of prototype that every woman must blindly mimic. And there’s no option to look “like that” other than buying this amazing “Insert_Product_Name_Here” which will bring self-confidence to your inner soul, ladies! Well, well, who says you need an industry to sell you confidence?

For men, confidence, or lack of it for that matter, measures in how many ladies they’ve laid, or (in some particular cases, like my man) in how many times a day he lays his loved one… Men are simpler and we are more complicated. But doubt and insecurity haunts all of us. In our quality as consumers, our weaknesses become “opportunities.” Turns out that when it’s not a win-win situation, then we, the consumers, are the losers. The marketing machine has to sell. The side effects are at best fast forwarded in the sub note because, probably, they could diminish sales.

My rule of thumb, ladies and gentlemen, is to never ask advice from the seller. He will always describe the product in superlatives. How about regulators and regulations? Don’t count on them either, because they are late and off topic. Then what to do? How can you live long and prosper throughout this asphalt jungle of lies and half-truths? The answer is to be found in simplicity. If you can make it simpler then you made it better. This is my rule of thumb: simplify!

Following some simple facts:

My husband, 44 now, has a slight tendency towards fewer hair on his head. However, his hairline is today at the same latitude where it was twenty-three years ago, when we officially announced our engagement. It’s possible that in the future he will show a bald male type scalp. It depends on many factors. Starting with the stress factor — this is the most cruel of all, besides the genetic heritage.

Baldness is the side effect of a malady we all suffer of, this condition is called senescence, or growing old. It’s natural and only special genetic types of men will keep the rich hair from their twenties at the same abundance through their eighties. Most men will reach some degree of baldness, at some age. So why go to the doctor and ask for hair loss treatments from the industry? Why artificially insert disruptions in our hormone dynamics? Why blindly trust the sellers? Why buy stuff we don’t need? And, most importantly, why buy drugs that harm us?

Are you bald already? Be proud of it! Are you balding? Be proud of it! For the intermediate years, just trim your hair to a quarter of an inch and, again, be proud of your haircut: wavy, brushy or shiny. Being bald and proud of it is simple and free, no therapy required. No side effects to fear.

Now it’s time to list some sexy bald (or balding) men in order to break through the marketing misleading, wrongly sustaining that bald men have less sexual appeal: Patrick Stewart (aka. Jean Luc Picard), Charlie Sheen, John Travolta, Daniel Craig (Bond, James Bond), Tony Curtis, John Wayne (well, sex appeal works either way), Prince William, Matthew McConaughey, Paul McCartney, Nicolas Cage, Andre Agassi, Tommy Lee Jones, Bruce Willis, Hulk Hogan, Sean Connery (another James Bond), Kevin Costner, Mel Gibson, Phil Collins, Jason Statham, Ben Affleck, William Shatner (yes, Cpt. Kirk!), Jude Law, Brendan Fraser, Hugh Laurie, Ed Harris, and the list goes on.

Statistics say that two men in three will be bald by their sixties. Science says that bald men produce more testosterone. This means that your bald man is more likely to last longer. Strange how the marketing industry turned our minds topsy-turvy only to exploit false myths and sell us more “goods” that — turns out — will put hair on bald men’s heads while making them sexually dysfunctional in the process.

Yet another simple fact of life: women love bald heads!

Oh yes, Heidi Klum manifests an irresistible attraction for singer Seal, definitely bald.

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