Love, Pills and Taboos

In Britain, they call it “Joy of Teen Sex” — it’s the new Russian roulette, a TV programme on Channel 4. Real live sex, practiced in bed, by teens, minors, mindless. Instead of playing and learning, they burn their time, and their youth, prematurely growing their bodies old, and sick, and pregnant.

As a young girl, I was raised to keep my virginity for my future groom. He married me because, he said: “you are beautiful, smart and a virgin.” And so he fell in love with me. A lasting love. His saying runs even now (talking to our daughters) that: “a man should buy second-hand cars because these cost less than half the market price, but marry a virgin, because she’s priceless.”

It is also practical for a young girl to spend her time surrounded by books, like in the old times, or rather on Wikipedia than on Facebook. Education is essential during your teen years. Sex is not an option if you’re serious about graduating and further going to college, to a top rated university.

The urban culture nowadays pays less (if any) attention to the value of virginity. It’s a symptom of big troubles awaiting for us around the corner. Here are few of the problems looming in the fog of the future:

1. Girls, still children, remain pregnant and give birth to other children. These are no toys, no dolls, but new humans. In Holland, a schoolgirl, 12, gave birth to a baby while in class.

2. STD’s can, and do, spread like fire among teens having mindless sex. Condoms are not the ultimate in protecting them, mostly when multiple, simultaneous, orals are involved.

3. Boys are just looking for sex, simple, no obligations. Their feelings are frugal, irresponsible. Girls in exchange are looking for affection. They call it love, but in fact it’s just affection, attention, friendship, sensitivity. With a normal planning, with sex patiently postponed, this kind of teen romance must pass the test of time, months, years, before the boy is granted access to the gate. In short: “don’t open your legs!” Because you’re sending him the wrong message.

4. Passing schoolgirls on the pill to avoid pregnancies. This will severely alter their hormonal balance. Raising the risks of birthing flipper babies over years. Actually, hormone regulation sounds better for my age and natural hormones are preferred over the artificial ones.

5. The girl’s first love gets lost. Imagine that a girl will give her virginity to some boy that she “thinks” she loves. The drama is that she’s having no idea what love is. Love is not sex. If she seeks love, she has to test her pretenders. Teasing them with her grace but fixing the limits. The word for what a girl should dig is “commitment” from her boyfriend. This won’t work if she opens the legs before the second question. Unfortunately, surrogates of feelings are labeled as “love” by innocent, and ignorant, teen girls.

A great responsibility is attributed to the parents. The second suspicion falls on the trends setting media system. The boring mantra is “challenging the sex taboos.” Well, taboos may be wrong, or right.

If you look over the blog of a 45-year-old loving lady, having sex only inside her marriage, but blogging about it, and you find it offensive, then I’d say your taboos do need some pitching.

On the other hand, if you interview a 17-year-old schoolgirl, she tells you she started sex at 13, had eight or nine partners so far, does it unprotected and finds it “normal,” then I’d say it’s not the same taboo we’re talking about.

Tangling taboos, kicking out the good ones, keeping tight the wrong ones, may lead us here — sooner than we may expect.

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