A recent study states that the average duration of marriage in Germany is of thirteen years. That two-thirds of the interviewed couples declared they are unhappy. Problem number one is, as expected, sex! Men will never give it up, can’t imagine life without it. Sounds reasonable, nope? Women, on the other hand, will turn into mothers, then (if left without close supervision) they gradually grow into asexual kitchen-Godzillas, chasing their men out to the cat house. And bang, they touch the bottom where they feel betrayed and file for divorce. Sure, no good to throw the guilt on women, it’s counter productive and only puts more gas on the burning fire.
My bunny had her periods of hormonal hurricanes (she is a mother of four, after all). It’s all normal and natural, it is about the instinct of procreation. When a mother, your woman becomes less of a wife, no man should expect otherwise. This is why lions have more than one female, this is why in ancient times men had more wives, this is why medieval noblemen had a protégé or two and modern bosses have secretaries. It is also called the backup method. And there is more than one marriage that happily lives ever after in this formula. Could be that the wife knows and consents, feeling protected in another manner (from the animalistic instincts of her husband). Or sometimes she only feels it (never encountered a situation where the lady won’t feel it, a way or another) and lets it go, being thankful for other advantages of her fine marriage.
Bottom line is that communication, understanding and forgiveness make all marriages last longer. Still, there’s an ingredient missing for the marriage to become really blessed. This is the unconditional giving, out of your love for your spouse. It is all natural for the man to give his money and time and efforts to his own family. And it is even more in the nature of things for the woman to give everything, to subdue her ego to her loving man. This includes the sex fantasies playground. The advantage for her is as great as making herself his unique sex partner. Because, believe me, when a fantasy of threesome hits my brain (it happens in most men) then I tell her about it, in detail, and she listens, and she plays it in bed with me, where, in the real world, it’s always only the two of us. Therefore she helps me wash my dirty thoughts out while keeping me as her exclusive bed partner. Quite a feat nowadays.
This is why I think that, for me, one woman is more than enough (fantasies are, most of the time, just luring lies). Her mental and physical receptacle fulfills my desires and overwhelms my animalistic mores. She can tame me. Thus, instead of complicating my existence by roaming a galaxy peppered with black holes (ouch), I did well to upgrade my bunny at the beginning of her peri-menopausal epoch. But doing is never as simple as saying. It took us about four years to clear the field of repulsions and bad moods and reactive refusals. Shameless honesty was, and remains, our greatest healing therapy. I showed her the way to completely surrender her intimacy to me. How did I achieved that? By completely surrendering mine to her. We have no secrets. And when a new one is whispered to one’s ear, then we tell it out loud to the other one. So the secret vanishes out through the air. Guess this blog is kinda therapy as well…
My bunny has her second thoughts on posing nude, on letting me blog too openly about our relationship. I find this, as always, normal. Because the mind of a woman carries a greater emotional load than the less conscious mind of a man. We dare more and care less. The fun part of marriage (or of any blessed partnership with your lady) is when you can teach her how to see inside you. It’s all about giving and taking. And you gotta give her more than she can take. Let her pick up the goodies.
Money? If your sex life is based on money, then it will last that much. When money are gone the lady will follow them elsewhere.
Peace and love. They come together and work hand in hand. Being a peaceful man to her, but not boring, she will joyfully return your feelings with an amplified passion. A good wife, or partner, is like a resonance box for your soul. She takes your signal and echoes it back to you and also around the home. She fills the house, not with her physical dimensions but with her joyful grace. And this, my friend, is activated by the silent signal you put into her. Every evening and every morning when you cuddle her and ask permission to fill her somehow. It is an interesting harmony between fluids and feelings.
That brings us back to the conclusions of renown sex scientists and analysts. The lady needs your peace. Peace of mind is the spiritual oil of a perfect marriage. Because peace seals the mutual love that burnt giggling butterflies in your bellies when you were young. Peace makes love permanent. A peaceful home makes you miss her when you are away. And every return, when you ring the bell with a rose in hand, makes her happy and hot (these are the prerequisites of making her wet…), gives her reasons for staying in shape, for being the erotic diva you are always dreaming at holding and loving. She knows what you dream and she wants to be there, in your dreams, with you. Her peace makes your peace. The rest is landscape…