It happened that a happy father bought a brand new, and very expensive, shiny car. He brings it home, proudly parks it and enters the house. After a while, he notices that his little son is scratching the door of the car with a nail. Enraged, the boy’s father grabs a wrench and decisively slaps the small nail scratching hand with it. So hard that the parents had to take their kid to the ER. The doc decided that the cure for the severe damage of the son’s hand required amputation. Which was performed immediately.
When they returned home, in all sadness, and surprise, the parents had the time to read the inscription scratched with a nail, on the new car’s door, by the now amputated hand of their little son: “I LOVE YOU, DADDY.”
Disturbing story, isn’t it? We’re too often dragged out by our important, grown ups, mature and serious problems. Communicating with our children, or just paying attention to them, is sometimes less important than our social and professional achievements, or investments. Career, position, or just a new car, often times look so special. Special enough to place them on a sacred plinth, a conceptual one.
This may be the mental mechanism that justified the unthinkably harsh punishment in the story above. It is because the man priced the car way too much above its real value, which is way less than the health and integrity of his own son.
The good news in our family is that Don never had the chance to buy a new scratch-free car, that even when he was the most angry on our son (once, because the little one used scissors to open the camera bag…) he never used a wrench. Never ever! We don’t keep wrenches in our laptop loaded home. The lesson then was well served to our kid who respects cameras, and learned how to use one.
Not wrong to be firm with your kids, because education requires discipline. Just keep your nerves under control, always. Plus, a car would never return your love for her, because it’s a dead thing.