How Feminized Is Your Man?


Although I’m at my sixth godchild, it is for the first time that I had the chance to participate at a christening party with so many children. All the invited families brought their children with. Well, not exactly all, because me and hubby, the godparents, left our four kids at home, at a fair eight-hour distance on the Autobahn. We didn’t want to alter the average age (between six months and five years, with one exception of twelve) of the other nine kids with our grown-ups. Overall, there were two adults for a child, which is quite telling about the particular animation at the party.

I had the chance to notice, this time as an observer not a parent (lucky me), what it takes to carry your small children after you at the restaurant. When a toddler, shared enough between friendly mothers, is passed from arms to arms over the table… How it just happens that his tiny cute feet walk the air and hit wine and cognac out of bottles and glasses, christening an unsuspecting father. The suit will be cleaned and ironed for sure. The waiter is already there, clearing the glass fragments with professional coolness.

A very attentive and caring young daddy brought his eight-month old baby to the restaurant. His mother had to prepare for some exam so she had to skip the party. The toddler was casually fed by his resilient father with some stuff he picked from the table, until my goddaughter shared her son’s backup bottle of milk with her guest, to the delight of the little baby. Out of empathy, but also instinct, a few young moms took care (by commission) of the eight-month baby for a while. This freed the courageous daddy’s hands, and focus, on to the edible goodies and for some glasses of small talk.

It was clear to me that, at this blessed event on a rainy Bavarian Sunday, the daddies were the absolute heroes of the day. Or it’s just me? Not being accustomed to this type of baby sitting daddies. Definitely, it was something beyond what I have at home. I can understand that this is the norm in our modern society, with the father to file for paternity leave and raise the kids instead of the mother, as a mother.

But I am an old-fashioned woman, I have to admit, once again! Not that I hate a helpful hand with the kids and the house chores. Who would? However, I’m happy to have my personal driver in my hubby, to delegate manly chores to him and keep womanly ones to me. But I find more and more interesting the way spouses collaborate in raising their babies. Daddies changing diapers or chasing little rebels through restaurants, bringing peace between sis and bro’, holding toddlers in their arms, or strapped in chest carriers, for fear of not forgetting them in the caddy.

What can I say about modern men? That they do things not like men did things a couple decades ago. Men are different nowadays. Men carry the burdens of domestic chores like never before. This is killing their time, their mood, their nerves or interest for viewing, studying, pondering on the broader perspectives. Men used to be strategists and fighters and hunters down the history lane. Not sure if the majority of those men have ever changed a diaper. Sure about mine: he never did! And he’s neither a strategist, not a fighter, nor a hunter, he’s just an ordinary old geek. Few of his geek pals are, to my knowledge, like him (confirmed by my good friends — their wives), these hubbies touched only pristine Pampers when buying them in jumbo packs.

The trend of the day makes men minds turn domestic not strategic. The passivity and submission characteristic to women is now transgressing as a common feature in men. On the other hand, more women take their spare time to study new strategies, to lead and not to follow.

Manly women and womanly men, a good recipe for the Amazon rule of the morrow! Hmm… As a feminine woman, I can tell I love a manly man, with all his ups and downs.

Now the practical questions for the ladies. Are you an Amazon type of woman? Do you enjoy equality to the extreme degrees when the head becomes a “neck” and the initial neck finds out there’s no head anymore? Do you find this is a natural situation on the long run? Sounds boring to you? Ever thought of an escape plan that would eventually brew in your man’s head? Don’t think he’s null, because he may be just too patient with you. And, like everything else, patience has its limits.

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