Browsing the net with Doris, she shows me blogs engaged to fight porn. Many of them, all thoughtful and good willing. Ideas, methods and books, ebooks, DVD’s, etc. teaching you how to save your marriage by fighting the pest of porn.
Perhaps it makes sense to promote an anti-porn stream, just like (on the other side of the barricades) it makes sense to make porn. The majority of the ladies vehemently oppose porn, no wonder about that. Gentlemen accept this manifest vehemence of their ladies and try to express their consent, be it with a loud cry or simply a nod. They must behave morally, don’t they?
But few go out to think it over, what’s that a battle for principle X or against principle X? Or for principle Y if you resort to coincidental connotations for the letter X… When you think in triads, or syllogisms, then you begin to realize that sports-type battles (team A fights team B and B fights A) work for sports, not for understanding the marriage and even less the healthy sex life of a married couple.
The porn industry is a very big one, some digits say that’s even bigger than Hollywood. Yupp, no need for computer animations, for expensive props and spectacular explosions. Porn movies are dead boring, same thing over and over. Wondering how come that intelligent and educated people can pay for them. Because this is what keeps up the industry, the paying consumer base. But, at the same time, a porn movie proposes you no plot and no unpredictable not-to-be-spoiled amazing ending. When you start watching an erotic movie you don’t expect to be thrilled or surprised at all. You just know how it begins and how it ends. You even know what can happen during the show, you’ve seen “it” so many times before… Then why the hell do you look at porn, man? See, here comes the syllogism in the equation of porn, it’s you! The third-party in the problem of the two battling parties on the porn-front. And YOU are the solution to this problem of porn. You with your male body and male hormones. You need a way to ejaculate. It is you paying over and over for the porn industry to beat Hollywood on revenue.
Now please allow me to make a brutal approach, you have a wife and have to also pay for porn? Wow, you own a car but take the train? Even more shocking: you hide all that from your wife? Really, I have heard people of the old talking about the duties of a wife. And behold, this is from the Bible:
Proverbs 31:12, “For she employes all her living for her husbands good.”
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Now if your husband was asked what good are you to him, would he have an answer? Can he measure how you are constantly, perpetually, determinately looking out for his good? Can he raise the point, if asked the question, that every time this wife wakes up she is thinking about how to make him a better man? And if that is not your number one agenda item, you are not a godly wife. You may be a bed partner, you may be a cook, you may be this and you may be that, but a good wife seeks the good of her husband all the days of his life. That is, just as he is loving and honoring and cherishing you, you are to wake up and ask, “What good can I be to him today?”
If your wife is a godly wife, then why do you need to pay for porn? Isn’t “porn” sleeping with you by night and laughing with you all day long?
Go back over the six or so thousand years of history behind us. Did they need porn? Some yes, not the godly ones that weren’t served by godly wives waking up and asking themselves, “What good can I be to him today?”
Back in 2011. As I write, I watch, and listen to, the WTCC and Formula 1 at Silverstone. What do you see next to every racing car out there? A chick in tight panties and an almost invisible top. Bare tummy, flag in hand, she smiles at the camera. This comforts the men watching. It’s slightly sexual, pleasing but not lusting. Just sexy for the eye and the heart to jolt a bit. Medical studies advise men to watch boobs and butts in order to improve cardiovascular health. No one tells the man to lust after every female he sees, that’s insane and impossible. Look at those cultures where women have to be covered from top to toe with burqas. That’s a debasing even more dreadful than having them walk naked on the street. It tells the world that men in those societies cannot help themselves from lust, they lose control fast and with violent consequences. So their women are denied from enjoying the slightest compliment. Asking the ladies if they don’t feel good when receiving compliments? Let me tell you that a glance is a compliment.
My point is that the crusade against porn, and against more naked skin in general, is leading our society on a hypocrite path of morality. It’s like the double talk of politicians. With their win-the-vote face, they’re selling hot air and promises that will never come true. While with their normal human face they dump their shaved breasts and abs on the net. Well, the real man is naked, not hiding behind fancy clothes (and words).
Look at someone naked. Do you find decency in the naked body of a person? Or distinction? Or beauty? Or compassion? Or embarrassment? Or nothing to see there? Make your pick (study the face and the eyes foremost) then judge the person. Well, don’t apply judgments like a sentence, just draw a conclusion. Is what you see comfortable or not? Take it from there.
And never step beyond the visual realm. Because nakedness is sexual and some men can’t help themselves from lust. This the rightful reason for shame and clothes. But, if you’re an educated and godly man then you don’t desire any women other than your cherished wife. Although you may look and admire and compliment, together with her, any other woman for her innate qualities. You don’t debase a lady when complimenting her. On the contrary, your compliments build her self confidence, you indicate her that she’s worth being admired. Some other guy is the beneficiary of her qualities, same way as you’re benefiting from the ones of your own wife.
Again the typically men car analogy. I drive a VW Passat and I’m very content with it. I still admire BMWs and Mercedeses on the road. I look long after them. I chat with other motorists about this or that car. All this time I never thought to STEAL someone’s car. If I want one, and if I can afford one, then I buy one. Here’s why men in power drive so many cars, because they can afford it. But I don’t envy any man in power, it’s such a drivel up there. I’m happy in my Passat. But that’s on the car-side of life, because on the wife-side, I am blessed with the most sexy Porsche one can get. And she’s exclusively mine. You may watch, but not touch, according to my Porsche principle.
In conclusion: if you watch porn then do it like you watch a Formula 1 car racing; share this openly with your wife and educate her to your desires; if she’s a godly wife then she is also your erotic diva, her performance eclipses any porn star you’ve ever watched before.
And how about the anti-porn crusade? You still don’t get it? This is the anti-porn crusade! This will starve the porn industry of its paying fan base. No one will pay for junk artificial porn because everyone will have his own erotic diva in bed, near him. Lasciviously waiting to blow his little head off, and for him to blow her mind in return. All this somewhere in between the 90 percent cuddling due time.