I’m afraid this post may turn gross, but it’s nonetheless true. It is about the boom of erotic toys for women. Not just the online sales boom of dildos and vibrators of all shapes, colors and flavors. Nope, it’s about the offline toy stores for adults. About the public life in big cities where urban ladies go shopping. For dildos, yes.
Is this bad? Is it good? Regardless how I look at it, what matters is that this trend is catching up with more and more women. So let’s call it a symptom. A symptom for what exactly?
For instance, a symptom alerting us that husbands and partners are weak, or soft on their penises more often than we, their ladies, would like them to be hard and strong.
Then a symptom that man and woman, even if they share the house and, maybe, the bed, tend to share less their sex lives and to keep more attached to objects (and images) than to the real flesh and blood and soul partner. An alienating symptom inside couples and families.
Another symptom brought in by the public dildo shopping spree across Europe (at least) is that the woman of today is more aware of her needs, understands that she has to comfort herself if no one does, and that she also got past the inhibition of hiding hormones under the rug. Actually, I’m afraid that this third symptom is a good sign of physical health, unlike the previously enunciated indicators of a growing social illness.
Let’s start with the first one: male impotence. Are men less capable today than times before? Probably yes. Birthrates are in sharp decline, so the seed bearers are to blame. Reasons to ponder are feminism and emasculation, increasing social and financial stress, plastic urban life and processed industrial foods, excess of beer (Welcome to Oktoberfest!).
Did you say pornography, right? Well, I digress. At a zoo in China the locked couples of pandas won’t reproduce. Think the animals wished to run free through their natural ecosystem before doing it. But the guards had a groovy idea: they showed porn to the pandas. The animals watched attentively, forgot about the stress of being prisoners and produced cute baby-bears. This indicates that pornography would rather excite our men than inhibit their appetite for sex.
However, the second social symptom, lack of sex in marriage, has something to do with pornography. It is when spouses can’t agree to watch it together, to work out a common denominator on this thorny matter. Don’t you dare think that I was instantly turned on by the idiotic porn brought home by hubby for us to watch on The New Year’s Eve of 1991. The two VHS tapes (he presented them as a present and a surprise!) were yet another endeavor he advanced on me, among many during our intimate sex life.
I knew that my handjobs will keep him cool and happy in 1987. Then I had yet to figure why he went down on me in 1988. What pleasure did he felt on his tongue? Was that stronger than my mixed and awkward feelings of frustration? Then I got a new perspective about orals in 1989 when he convinced me that giving blowjobs isn’t that bad after all. Well, it wasn’t too enjoyable either, at least for me. It took me many years to come at peace with oral sex. And two full decades to accept swallowing!
You can read all this personal and intimate succinct saga of my marriage because you may want to understand PATIENCE. It wasn’t easy for me to sacrifice this or that concept (about my ego as an educated and modern woman) on the marriage bed. It’s not easy to live your love for your hubby, to show him that you’re there for him, to please him and not to bluntly show how much you care about controlling him. Well, the best ways of control are the pleasurable ones, to my opinion.
Back to dildo shopping and sex toys for women. Mine are attached to my hubby. His penis, his tongue, his hands, his chest, his nose, his mouth. He never thought at using his knees or elbows on me and I’m so thankful about that!
This Monday morning, after a populous weekend, we were both in the mood. Our love-making cute sex party in two was amazing. With tunes from the eighties, naked dancing, me riding on him (because I gotta stay in shape), he going down on me with the thrill of a first shy orgasm, then he came in my mouth. I shared the boule de neige with him so he could use his part on my second screaming orgasm.
You may notice (as I blogged before) that we mostly come at orals. And you may also figure that during the hour-long love-making, his penis can’t stay rock hard all the time. I can only dream about that. Think I’d explode of pleasure.
Gone are his twenties, and mine too… Looks like we’re more invested in sex now, in our forties, than we were in our twenties. This is not because we have younger bodies that can physically last more in bed, but because we have a longer experience behind us and we feed on each other’s growing love and understanding.
Call it a trivial daily romance if you want. I love to feel romantic and being loved and licked until fireworks ignite my back upwards to explode all the way through my head. I even find it emancipating for a woman to blog about all these intimate feelings. The same way that many find emancipating to buy exquisite dildos from the downtown sex store.
Wondering if a dildo will answer you back, if it will whisper “I love you, my bunny!” while licking your neck behind your ear. See my point? You’ve already got your dildos and sex toys, my ladies! They hang naturally on your hubbies. Go grab them!
Just a classical cougar wallpaper for laptops (1024x768px).