Before You Act, Think of the Consequences


As a mother, I don’t want my daughters to be sexually exploited. As a father, Don is really concerned about their future in a society slaving to the hedonistic gods. He knows the nature of man and says that the brakes nowadays are formal, if they are in the first place. A no-brakes society allows the youth to go wild, according to hormones and instincts. Young ladies are at risk of being seduced and dumped, bought in and exploited, lied and deceived by their dumb male peers or (worse) by lustful and deranged men.

When I browse the net (together with Don — his hobby, not mine) for erotica, then I realize that my intimate musings and images posted here (on mydangspace.com) are lame. “I told you so, bunny!” He reassured me that I still live in the ’80s if I keep labeling as “porn” the fine decent (compared to the ’10s?) nude images on my site.

Psychologically, a chronic lack of parental affection would determine the teenager to search for cuddling outside. For a gal, cuddling is enough to fill her seeking mind and lonely soul, to reset her feelings. But for a lad, cuddling the gal is only the beginning. Won’t say the foreplay because seldom young fellas would do that, if they actually know what that is…

Divorced couples, financial hardships, busy parents, the darn TV, the internet (!!!) and the blue screen of junk (also known as Facebook) are all alienating our children. They seek affection where they can get it (or where they THINK they can get it). Like flowers turning after the sun (or the lightbulb if there’s no sun in the closed basement room). The poor flowers will have no choice than to feed on surrogate light. Same with kids, if we don’t take our time to give them our parental affection, they will certainly take some sort of “artefact” from elsewhere. From their colleagues and from the internet.

Gradually their hearts turn out from gravitating around parents and this is good and natural, this is how we’re meant to be. For children have to leave their mother and father and find their better half, to marry and become parents at their turn. This is life. But what does a disruptive society brings new to life?

New is that less young folks look to take their adult lives into a marriage. Even less regard marriage as aging along with the person you love. And I may ramble on this moral theme for long, can bring studies and links and books and science and history. Who would listen? Who is listening to the grey haired when Lady Gaga got a new dress, and shoes?

You may think that “hey, Doris rambles about youth, most likely she’s having some problem with her kids or something…” Not at all, sorry to disappoint. The recipe for keeping our gals as much as possible out of the mad wild world out there was quite simple (simple to speak, at least): living in a small town away from the big city; having the kids shuttle at schools in the big city; not giving them extra time to spend in the city, besides school time of course; teach them about competition in the fields of science and literature, this means keep their noses deep in the books; or in front of the computer. Don (the cable guy in our home) won’t give net access to a kid less than 16. He taught them to code simple HTML when they were 13 or 14, but all their computer play and exercise happened in a closed box, no web until the kid is capable to discern some good from some bad. Sure, there are people who aged in dreamland. God bless their hearts. We just wanna make sure that our kids are equipped to go beyond, to the real world.

“What a bunch of bigots!” — would rant a new reader. Well, before the newcomer will go wash his eyes with bigot nudes of me, let’s talk about the forbidden fruit effect. It’s very powerful on kids. I’m afraid that it’s powerful on everyone. Knowing this, we treat our kids like friends (not necessarily ex cathedra), had them openly talk with us about whatever they want and we obliged with pertinent solutions to their problems. Starting with maths and physics and ending with what happens when speedy sperm hits the waiting egg — yes, that’s applied biology. The swelling of the tummy, the Godzilla-time of pregnancy and so on. Kids are too naive to consider the consequences of a casual act. Warming their souls with affection is the first step towards teaching them about the consequences of their acts, about the logic succession of events, about the analytic method.

BTW, in the real world out there, how many grown-ups, how many politicians, act like thinking at the consequences?

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