Q. Is masturbation an issue in your marriage?
A. It isn’t and it never was. Because when he needed more sex that I couldn’t give, I told him to take the problem into his own hands and he obliged. We’re no foreigners to each other, we’re friends, so we talk and share our intimate thoughts like friends do.
However, I know that social etiquette sometimes slips between spouses. It brings unnecessary shame and a dangerous opaque wall of secrecy. This is when masturbation becomes a problem, because it depends on how you (both) approach it. The flaws and merits of masturbation differ from couple to couple. If you, as his beloved wife and best friend, can’t hear him, then you just corner him, you force him to hide from you, be it about watching porn or masturbating, or both as they usually travel together.
In our marriage, for instance, masturbation is more present than intercourse — which I need less often than my hubby. This is why I pose nude for him; this is why we feature in our home-made romantic porn films, so he can regulate himself watching while I’ve got some house chore to handle.
I find it interesting (and a most pleasant surprise, mind you!) that he won’t come when watching other women out there in the lavishly rich public stream of porn from the internet. In spite of many fanciful fantasies (one more disgusting than the other) he will only come on me, or looking at a picture with me naked.
I don’t masturbate (sometimes I pretend to, in our movies) because when I need to go beyond cuddling, I’ll take the lovely toys hanging on my hubby. He’s always around and always happy to serve me. And I really don’t want to “masturbate” other than with his penis, hands, tongue… Erotic toys are such a fetish — especially when they are prefab plastics, disconnected from your better half!
Masturbation is not an issue in our marriage but rather a solution, if I’m allowed. It’s like a healthy backup to our sex life. I enjoy watching him masturbate while I have to cook or garden or clean or even blog. And when I want (need) him to finish faster, then I take a few minutes out to strip for him, to speak naughty to him, or just say anything funny, because –he said– my voice excites him, my dancing nude silhouette blows his mind up and… there he comes!
A small Droid wallpaper size for this one: 640x480px.