FAQ: Mutual Masturbation in Marriage

Q. Is masturbation an issue in your marriage?

A. It isn’t and it never was. Because when he needed more sex that I couldn’t give, I told him to take the problem into his own hands and he obliged. We’re no foreigners to each other, we’re friends, so we talk and share our intimate thoughts like friends do.

masturbation and s(t)imulation in a happy marriage

However, I know that social etiquette sometimes slips between spouses. It brings unnecessary shame and a dangerous opaque wall of secrecy. This is when masturbation becomes a problem, because it depends on how you (both) approach it. The flaws and merits of masturbation differ from couple to couple. If you, as his beloved wife and best friend, can’t hear him, then you just corner him, you force him to hide from you, be it about watching porn or masturbating, or both as they usually travel together.

In our marriage, for instance, masturbation is more present than intercourse — which I need less often than my hubby. This is why I pose nude for him; this is why we feature in our home-made romantic porn films, so he can regulate himself watching while I’ve got some house chore to handle.

I find it interesting (and a most pleasant surprise, mind you!) that he won’t come when watching other women out there in the lavishly rich public stream of porn from the internet. In spite of many fanciful fantasies (one more disgusting than the other) he will only come on me, or looking at a picture with me naked.

I don’t masturbate (sometimes I pretend to, in our movies) because when I need to go beyond cuddling, I’ll take the lovely toys hanging on my hubby. He’s always around and always happy to serve me. And I really don’t want to “masturbate” other than with his penis, hands, tongue… Erotic toys are such a fetish — especially when they are prefab plastics, disconnected from your better half!

Masturbation is not an issue in our marriage but rather a solution, if I’m allowed. It’s like a healthy backup to our sex life. I enjoy watching him masturbate while I have to cook or garden or clean or even blog. And when I want (need) him to finish faster, then I take a few minutes out to strip for him, to speak naughty to him, or just say anything funny, because –he said– my voice excites him, my dancing nude silhouette blows his mind up and… there he comes!

smiling naked cougar bunny simulates masturbation and listens to music, a landscape painter effect

A small Droid wallpaper size for this one: 640x480px.

2 thoughts on “FAQ: Mutual Masturbation in Marriage

  1. I love masturbating in front of my wife, and as you say, would rather do that than look at porn – although I do that at times, too. I wish she would let me take nude photos of her. I would love for her to catch me masturbating as I look at her photos. That would be the ultimate, I think.

    Your husband is fortunate to have a wife who understands so well about masturbation!


    1. Hi Jimbo,

      Masturbation is a reality of marriage, and I can tell you that letting my hubby masturbate was indeed beneficial to me. Because I’m not in the mood all the time, a woman can’t be as often as a man is.

      About you proposing your wife to pose nude for you. Great idea BUT you must have lots of patience and overwhelm her with your cuddling and romantic attentions. When my hubby asks me something, anything, in a blunt manner, then I first have a feeling that he’s demanding. This won’t turn me on. You should give her a massage, every evening, and pretend nothing afterward, you know what I mean 🙂 — and you should court her all the time without expecting she gives you something in exchange.

      Women love being treated like princesses. Cuddle her with every occasion! Gently ask her to take shots of you when you masturbate, so she feels like an amateur photographer. 💡 Then make sure you talk her into posing for you dressed, or in bikinis.

      You may try masturbating while looking at photos with your wife in bikinis. Take it from there, allow her the time and the space (may take years, don’t hurry her). Eventually she will pose nude for you, the same as I did for my loving husband, when I started to feel SAFE!

      Last but not least, LIGHT is essential for quality photos, make sure there’s aplenty! You want her to look gorgeous in the photos, right? On the side note, more light makes her feel bit uncomfortable, so a reason more to treat her like the number one top model she is in YOUR life!

      And don’t forget: it’s all a matter of time…


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