FAQ: The Asexual Wife, a Mental Glitch?

Q. What if your wife becomes asexual?

A. Giving birth changes the body, and the mind, of a woman. Forever! She’s no longer a gal but a mother! Normally, the path from maidenhood to motherhood should be as long as nine months, but who cares about normality anyway? Instinct guides the mother to put the baby on the first place, always!

Being her loving man, accept this natural situation and give her time, and room, to take care of your children. But like all things under the sun have their limits, gently remind her that, in the background of her life, you’re still waiting for her. That you support your family with hard work and –in order to stay human– you have some biological needs. Don’t make a big deal out of it, because it’s no big deal.

In practice, a hooker would charge you by the minute to deal with your needs. So you’d rather teach your wife to act like a hooker and drain you fast and often (for FREE). She will appreciate this teaching later on, when eventually understanding that all the traditional, cultural prudish fluff was badly affecting your marriage, and the healthy future of your children. They need to grow up in a happy family! The joy in all families is ignited, and maintained, by happy parents — and sex is what makes mom and dad happy.

Here’s a frugal and incomplete food for thought list for husbands that struggle to have their wives back in bed:

  1. Regardless of her acidity, always be nice to her, court her with all the honesty you did when you first met.
  2. Be wise and subtly show her that you’re more intelligent than her. Asking for sex is no sign of superiority, so don’t begin with this if she’s not prepared to hear. But drive her over the clouds of your dreams, like you did when courting her.
  3. Rinse and repeat. The points above may take years of exercise and efforts with no remarkable results. The modern feminist brainwashed wife is a stubborn thing. Don’t hope to melt her with a gesture or two. You wanted to marry? Very well then, now pull the cart! Marriage is no picnic, especially when communication is a problem.
  4. On the physical plan: talk to her about gynaecology, see how she feels. Support her and inspire her with enough courage — and trust — not to follow the mainstream doc’s advice that will put her on the pill. The magic pill is a myth, it won’t solve but apparent, superficial issues while creating deeper physiological and psychological problems. Keeping your wife on the pill will make her even more anti-sex than you think.
  5. Help her, be there for her, but don’t exaggerate with the submission show. She needs to see authority and guidance in you. Even if many wives won’t admit it, they still intimately want to listen and follow their man (nature prevails over politics). Sure, be her gentle and loving leader, worthy of her precious attention.
  6. Humor! Dunno why leaving this at the end. I think that humor is the first factor in conquering and mastering your woman. If she has no sense of humor, if you tried everything and the answer is still “no,” then leave her to be her own master. She’s not the one!
  7. Rinse and repeat. It’s never gonna end the sinus up-and-down curve. Never take for granted what you conquered today to last forever. Men learn hard and forget fast, women learn even harder and forget almost instantly.

Q. What if your wife won’t listen?

A. Try harder. Be patient. Study to learn new romantic ways to get her in the mood. If nothing works, take the matter to close friends, or your pastor, counselor, whatever. If nothing works, dump her, she deserves it. She has no idea about her duties as a wife. She must love her husband (more than she loves herself) and make him happy (giving him the sex he’s been asking for), not sad (with her permanent bitterness and refusals).

Q. Who is the head of a marriage?

A. The husband.

Q. What’s the part of the wife in a marriage?

A. She’s the neck! Holds the head and can make it turn a way or another.

A quite smart head once said that “You don’t have to understand women, you simply have to love them.”

How true…

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