Wish y’all a great and happy and healthy 2012!
In his natural and historical construct (about which I’m certain is no happenstance) man was made to have more than one woman.
In spite of their emergence from the Old Testament, Christian societies have systematically restrained this natural freedom of man. Evidently there were good and blessed reasons to do so. But, like with any man-made concept, side effects backfired — low birth rates or lots of testosterone wasted on stupid sports games (yes, there are “smart” sports games too — says hubby).
Spiritually, men take vows. Monks vow to have no woman at all. Husbands vow to have only one for their entire life. There’s no greater love statement made to a woman than her hubby’s vow of fidelity. Sadly, many of us take this for granted, forgetting that, in his natural and historical making, man was designed to have many women.
It’s such a sensitive issue to bring on the table, I know, but isn’t it a dang ardent matter? With every divorce, a vow is broken. Putting the blame exclusively on men is not gonna fix anything else than our thirst for revenge. First of, the angry divorcing wife is the same person as the lovely bride of yesteryear. Or is she?
Whenever you hit blank walls in marriage, when you feel that you can’t talk to him, that he ignores you, that he’s bugging you, that you need more sleep, that you’re tired, etc. please remember the day, or night, when he proposed to you. At that time he was DETERMINED to fight his own nature for you. At that time his entire world was YOU!
He proposed to me exactly twenty-four years ago, this very night! And I said yes, a shy whispered yes…
Did I know then what I know today? Of course not. It was all romance and excitement, cuddling and passionate love. Plus the bits of theory I’ve read about — because I like reading the user’s manual before unwrapping the box. Sadly, not many have the patience to waste some time with that so important booklet. But I made my list of duties and rights in marriage. I took it seriously as the logical consolidation of our love, as the living application of my attraction towards my man. What I learned from theory was that husbands –almost invariably– will cheat on their wives (see the nature of man) and that miserable wives can make them dearly pay for cheating on them. So, it seemed to me, that marriage was a battlefield. I didn’t want to be at war with my lover because I married him. This should be tragic if you think it over. I decided to share my concerns with him, before going further… “to war.” And I asked him: “what do you think I should consider to be your first right in our marriage?” Bit stunned, he stopped from kissing my neck and turned to me, seemingly serious: “My right to ejaculate, my dear bunny!”
I broke the silence with a laughter. “Is that all? You mean, is this ‘right’ so important to you?” Wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. Never heard such a stupid answer. “Sure it is. Go figure.” And he returned to torture my neck, behind the ear.
Men are so very simple beings. They would stop from chasing other women (as their nature indicates) if you, their bride, were giving them this ridiculous right (for you) but so important (for them) to ejaculate.
Try ignoring their right to ejaculation and you call the game of war in marriage. That because their nature will take them to other places, where someone else will give them this primeval right. It’s such a minor thing with such major consequences. And you’re the one in charge, the giver or the taker. Keeping your man exclusively for you is not that difficult, if you know how to read (and give) his rights…