Last year in early January we presented the visible effects of the get-fat diet on the gracious curves of Doris. The 4th of this new year we took advantage of our first home alone morning to run a new photo shooting. Just that I can’t show visible fat results on my bunny. This month of December I expected that she will gain some weight. Well, turns out she didn’t. We’re out of the get-fat diet and back to normal healthy nutrition. But this is not exactly the subject line of my blog today. I wish to rant about social networks, the positive aspects as well as the problems they bring into our lives.
Gullible youngsters easily fall prey to deranged predators, some even find tragic endings when swapping the screen for the real world encounter. It’s like you’d drive on the Autobahn without a license and get killed in a frontal collision. I thought about the ghost driver issue — that makes sense on the roads — but on the social network it seems to me that most traffic participants are ghost drivers.
It’s not about being computer savvy, because the user interface of a social network is so stupid simple that anyone from 8 to 88 can click the icons and navigate through Facebook walls or read some tweets. The serious problem is when you don’t know what you’re doing, what you’re talking (or writing), with whom you open a dialog and WHY? Sure, nothing new under the sun. Just the wireless gadgets.
Time before, you gotta read piles of tomes, to solve some math and drink a few gallons of Boolean logic, pass some exams, etc. in order to grow up as a computer literate person. It took years of effort and learning. The scope of this education was not to learn about the particular device (who cares anymore about the mainframes and the console) but about how to understand the method of learning, like climbing a mountain: you know where you started, you have an idea about where you want to arrive and you step with care not to fall free. It’s about responsibility and control.
Most people go out to look for fun, for amusement and disconnection from the real world. Now take these three words: responsibility, control and fun. How do they sound in the same phrase? Possibly like this: sex, cars and the mother-in-law. When I want to entertain my mind, then I definitely try to forget the chores.
When you play a ball game, or ride a bike, then you are aware about the laws of physics. Even if you’re looking for fun, to feel good, to enjoy what you’re doing, something inside you (instinct?) activates that inner voice, preventing you from doing dangerous jumps, from braking too hard too late, from getting you in serious trouble. Your body “knows” about hospitals and that limits the excess in your euphoria.
When you watch movies and play computer games, the instinct wanes away, your body is safe on the sofa, the worst situation you may get in is fall asleep and miss the event, or you won’t reach the next level, in both cases you’ll be just fine.
Now take your “playing” out to the social networks. The instinct is lame because you’re still on the sofa, not on the field, in real action. It’s unlikely for you to notice how the bots grab your personal data and browsing habits, making you “available” to planet earth. But there’s not much to do about this, unless you’re prepared to ruin all the fun with iptables and firewall droppings.
Comes the sexual healing tune. Spouses that gradually cease to communicate with each other. They grow frustrated and this impacts their sex life. Separated in thoughts, they miss every new opportunity to open their heart and speak out directly. Instead they find refuge on singles’ forums — spread around the social network universe — in fantasy land. Is your material marriage, the real woman sharing the bed with you, uninteresting, boring? Is the invisible one on the screen — pretending she’s the one in the steamy picture — becoming more real to you than your bride?
This chimeric concept takes you hostage, exploits your vulnerabilities and may eventually ruin your marriage.
Similar situations in the real world: regular party going, intimacy with your secretary or job colleagues, any excuses to go out. Why? Because you feel somehow trapped, lonely, bored, in your marriage. Things like Facebook offer you a planetary party and a universal pub to vent and “feel good.” But can you feel better in a virtual space than in the real proximity? Is a distant illusion stronger than immediate reality? If this is the case, or if you think that this is the case, then it’s time to admit and address the problem in your marriage.
Virtual flirting is a symptom for two lies in your marriage: 1. you’ll hide it from your wife; 2. you expect to plan for sex out-of-wedlock. Just keep speeding up like a ghost driver, without giving it a double thought, and chances for irreparable damage will hit you on the forehead. The solution is to stop being too social with anybody else and take your honesty back to your lovely spouse. Maybe you find her fat, or acid, or asexual. Don’t be surprised, women have more personal issues than men, they always did. But your job as a husband is to care for her, to address her insecurities in all honesty, to be her friend and protector.
You’ll have to become asocial in order to help her. So quit the world and take all the time you’ve got to comfort her. She will eventually appreciate and learn how to listen, how to give you what you really need: sex!
Being more sexual is becoming less social. The reverse is true as well: a rich social life will damage your sex life. Oh yes, social sex, like swinger parties and casual sex, is not going to heal your soul. F*ck what you love and you’ll be happy. And healthy! Other sexual experiments will damage your spiritual health, for sure, and possibly your physical health down the lane.
Back to our Wednesday photo shooting. Doris looked in the mirror all the time. Did she like what she saw? “Hm, not exactly…” She wasn’t sure. Don’t expect clear answers when asking a lady about her body image. She eventually liberated herself, after long. And after trying two dresses. Did she mention aging? Sure she did. Who isn’t aging?
Ultimately, after closing the camera bag, after smooth kisses and kind cuddling, after vibrant loving and a 69-sync capping, I took the raw pics and turned them into a set of iphone wallpapers. Then called her to watch. She loves them! Well, not orgasmic but just enough to jiggle and laugh and tell me these words: “this one looks good.”
Yes, a woman is hard to liberate from her fears. Hard but not impossible. Where “rock hard” is the key-word!
BTW, we figured this out right now: See the power of the computer screen? It goes beyond the power of the mirror.