Several days ago, someone wrote this to me: “Let me get this straight! You have an adult web site with nudity etc. and you are telling me you’re shy?”
At the first, frugal, look it may seem straight enough: you are posing nude, you have your own adult site, then you can’t be shy! Period. Period or Paradox? It matters less what someone thinks of me. What counts is that being shy is part of me, and I’m sure that it’s part of many (if not most) women.
My answer to this question is YES, I can by shy on my own adult site!
Here’s how this works for me, in my mind. When I pose nude, I do that in front of the person I love, who is holding the camera. If I think at the other viewers, I see them as belonging to another world, a virtual one.
You can be very natural, not even paying attention to the camera, because in front of you sits your lover and you are eager to please him.
He may desire more than you have initially planned for your marriage; he may enjoy showing you off on the net; he may like to brag about you. This is it. Boys will be boys! They have to put their new acquisitions on display, to show off their fancy cars, shiny guns or fabulous women.
If you are a woman, it may take years to understand this simple mechanism of the male psyche.
If you are talking about my man, then his acquisition (me) is not new anymore, for a long long time, still she looks “newer” or younger for her “acquisitor.”
He takes care of me and even succeeds to make me happy every day. He’s not just telling me that he loves me, he always goes the extra mile to show me how much he loves me. But, like any man, he has a few caprices, first comes his inclination to photography.
Where do you think he points his camera? There where his mind is.
And this trivial succession of events brought me to pose nude, on my own adult photo site — like being exposed in the shopfront of my man.
Of course, with every picture I become a bit more daring, but losing my shyness? I don’t think so. Being shy is part of me, and he loves me for (also) being shy.
The adult site — NudeInGarden.com — can be compared to a shop window. This has a wide and solid boundary of glass dividing two worlds, two separate spaces. You can look through the glass and see something that you like. However, you cannot touch but the glass — or your computer screen, because this is the true boundary introduced to your imagination. Everything stops at the visual or voyeuristic level.
If I had to pose for another person, not my hubby, then I couldn’t be so natural and detached. First of, I wouldn’t be so eager to show off my naked body. Then, the smile couldn’t be the same! And this is precisely what I understand by amateurism.
No studios, no scenery, no scripts.
I am an amateur model. My man is an amateur photographer. We have an amateur camera (we may work a little more on this aspect).
Not an amateur model with a pro photographer. No studios, no scenery, no scripts. No ranking-driven productions that the large public demands and lusts for. Only have one single sophistication in the picture and you brought professionalism in your posing hobby. Perhaps I am wrong, who knows?
Being an amateur model, for me, it’s almost equal with the thrill of spontaneity and the unpredictable.
I feel so excited after making love with my hubby. Then, on a whim, I think at ways to give him back from the abundance he deposited in my heart. Thus I pose for him! It takes a couple of minutes, more or less, and you are done posing. The scenery, we’re taking it at random: be it the winter garden, on the patio, the bedroom or the stairs, be it our garden. For accessories, I take what I have on me, or rather I take them off. And because we’re surrounded by neighbors, I sometimes start posing in a nightgown or a scarf, before stripping out of them. Fast and frugal, this is what amateur models do.