Doris’ World Wide Masturbation Day: The After Party

Last Saturday, (aka. the Yellow Pages of Porn) was so kind to publish a link to my adult site – and so it began!

Don told me that “The Hun portal is using an iframe to display the actual page from our site. This will make The Hun’s populous visitor base hit directly on our page, which is gracefully coded on the server-side, with a fair number of calls to the data base and all the heavy lifting happens inside our server and not outside, on the client machine of the visitor.”

Hm, have you got the picture? Neither did I. Don’s mumble jumble is too complicated for mere mortals to grasp. So I teased him a bit to make me understand. No chance, he was too stressed with solving this server meltdown and kept speaking in tongues to me. But I insisted and kissed him many times to calm down, even handled him a hot cup of tea and asked more dumb questions until I started to make some sense.

And here goes my version of the last Saturday server crash:

Sympathizing with all men over 40 (and younger if they wish to indulge with me), I called them for a virtual masturbation party. My announcement was well placed. Many men did a peep in to see me over the fence of my garden. So many that the fence broke under their growing numbers, the garden was involuntarily stampeded (the guys just wanted to peep, nothing else) and I had to retire in the attic, in panic (well, it was no panic, but I have to convey the turmoil from the server room). No more pictures available, no more party, just 500 or even 404 error messages on blank screens. Ouch! That’s the worst that could happen when going to an online party. Too bad.

We’re deeply sorry, we regret and we apologize for this inconvenience!

In the middle of this drama, Don first propped the fences and even brought all the chairs out. But that wasn’t enough. Then he went to rent an entire hotel, with plenty of parking lots, with warm and cozy pools, and a well lightened stage where I could dance. During all these preparations, The Hun kept sending us a fresh and frenzy fat charge every second. It was evening in Europe and morning in California when our new private server (aka the hotel) was fully setup and running to satisfy each new visitor in part. However, Don had to double-check and fine tune this or that until Sunday before dawn.

By Sunday evening, he told me that the “server-side” was changed to “client-side” on the coding of the page where The Hun linked to our site, which (in more humane terms) means that less stress will apply on our hotel-like server in the future because, even if our new server has the capacity of Hilton, even if every new comer can now be timely treated with all the pics he wishes to peep at, there’s a tiny technicality in the hotel world: PRICE!

Now we have to pay per memory used and processing cycles. If one out of ten peepers would have converted into paying subscribers this article would have had a different ending. Until then, the conclusion I drew from crunching some digits (yes, I do the digits in the books, Don does the symbols in the servers) is that in October we’ll have to up a bit our one-time non-recurring fees at Sensual Erotic Goodies — that’s my personal adult site for you.

Good to know: the $7.99 monthly recurring fee will remain unchanged!

Also good to know: besides the HD nude pictures of me, besides Don’s comics for adults and besides our “hard-core” geeky erotic stories, we just shot some movies this morning, along with a couple hundred photos, in our quest to find true beauty and a sense of candour in what we do. For your pleasure and for ours alike.

Hurry up at and grab a discounted subscription. This is a “back to the future” discount! See that we don’t throw at you with marketing nonsense. In all honesty, I wrote an entire article announcing that we’re gonna raise costs for the aforementioned reasons, that we’ll keep the $7.99 monthly recurring unchanged and that you have about a week to grab a subscription at the currently very low prices.

I know, it’s impolite to talk about money in public, they say. But I suppose I did it with grace. Now let me post some more impolite pictures of me naked.

Spare a moment to stare at my NoteBook and then go looking for more “intellectual porn” at — yes, yes, I know that “erotica” is a much better term, but men like “porn” whatever women would want to call it, like romantic, beautiful, gracious, sensual and intellectual porn — a thought-through thing for sure!

Taken this morning, September 25th, in our backyard.

Taken this morning, September 25th, in our backyard.

Taken this morning, September 25th, in our backyard. Where’s the neighbour?

If you enjoyed the sample snaps, then go at for more. Grab the discounts as they last!


3 thoughts on “Doris’ World Wide Masturbation Day: The After Party

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.