Larry wrote me, weeks ago, about one his many preferred subjects, that is fellatio. I’ve even wrote a little blog based on our dialog. Now I’m writing the next one.
I dealt at length with fellatio in parts 4 and 5 of my marriage series (of essays) as some wives are hesitant or reluctant to perform oral sex for their husbands. But, as you know, it really is a beautiful and playful and exciting form of lovemaking for them once they overcome any mental blocks or inhibitions to it. (Essay part 5
did get very lengthy, but I felt it necessary to address, at length and in some detail, the biggest “obstacle” for young women, namely, accepting their husband’s semen inside their mouth. The challenge these wives face is more mental than physical ;-).
Hopefully, some women – who read and think about it – will overcome their mental “discomfort” with fellatio, and give it a fair try. If they do, most will likely find that they enjoy it and look back on their fears as being silly or nonsensical.)
There is a psychological aspect to the fellatio, for the man, at least. This is true for the tender caressing, licking, and sucking of the penis that the wife does, but is most especially true for his strong ejaculation inside his wife’s mouth.
The young wives, to gain a broader perspective, could consider this quote which reflects a man’s point of view. (Not the view of all young men, but of many.)
The man feels himself to be more masculine and virile at such times when he plainly sees his semen overflowing his lover’s lips as she swallows his sperm. In his thinking, he has produced a “load” of semen for her greater than she could take on, or easily absorb.
As Larry rightfully mentions on his blog, there are mental blocks in the head of the wife. I mean deep and rough mental blocks. I dare to consider that husbands seldom can fathom the epic tempests ravaging their wives’ minds. Especially when the wife is also a mother. Because, dear Larry and dear husbands, and all thee men out there, the MOTHERING INSTINCT is the real cause of this mental block.
Don’t you expect for the victim (the mother) to realize this first, to rationalize and to asses the damage before exploring for a way out. This won’t happen. Why? Because the mother is tightened by incredibly strong, and invisible, ropes to her babies. She is the GIVER for them and she would give everything, even her life, to see them well and growing and fulfilled and happy. This state of fact has been observed and proven in biology, in psychology, in physiology. The mother’s body produces chemicals that change her mind forever, and for good.
When you married her she was a girl. Now, that she’s a mother, actually YOU made her a mother, don’t treat her the same way. She expects more from you, much more. I give my man a list every time when I send him shopping. I write him mails with reminders on things that I’m sure he never thinks about. I nag him often with my mental blocks, with my worries and fears. I speak out to him because he wants to hear me and to listen and to address my concerns with a kind word.
I expect for him to fix my problems like my kids want me to care for them and to fix their homework. This is, if I remember well from old dusted books, such as the Bible, how a family works.
Now back to our oral sex talk. Let’s say that a husband has covered all the technical and psychological points, that he provides a shelter, food, clothes and a sense of security to his wife and offspring. More so, that he finds the time and resilience to listen and that the wife has that blessed sense of measure to know when to shut her chatterbox up. With all the above points checked, the ball still remains in hubby’s field. Let he manifest his sense of humor, let him take the mother of his children away from her daily duties, let him cheer her soul up with a spoken word, with a sung verse and with a playful hand, or foot, depends…
Let me tell you that your wife dreams of romance more than she allows the appearances to show you. Her inner soul wishes to fly carried by your arms — remember Superman?, it’s a superficial modern myth. In the old, Prince Charming rode a horse and Pegasus was the steed of Perseus, a winged horse to fly when riding. Be her Prince Charming and take her for a ride when you can. Of course, without neglecting your duties as parents. Romance her all the time and you’ll see no mental blockage whatsoever. She will suck your dick if you’ll have the patience to wait and the wits to charm her. But let me warn you: a woman doesn’t actually enjoy sucking a dick. It’s more like awkward or even disgusting to some. If she goes for it, then it’s most likely to pay you back for all the Herculean labors she puts on you every day. When she gives you head she wants to say thank you in a way that’s obviously very enjoyable for you. She knows that from the mother instinct: bake his preferred cake, cook his favorite dish, etc.
The next step that you’re called to do — yes, again the husband — is to proclaim her the master in bed and to identify yourself as her sexual slave. Give her the power over your sexual fantasies. Let her have the initiative! Oh, I forgot to mention: the premise is that you are best friends, like the modern fuck-friends but classically married with children, and that you discuss everything, and I mean everything!
As your Domina, she will be thrilled when you’ll go down on her, she will have the verbal courage to guide you according to her touchy sweet spots and the comfort to get out of herself and discharge her tense hormones over her working man.
Let me give you a few personal examples. After harping you so much, I think you deserve a little break.
Years ago, we found ourselves in a parking lot. As he was getting out of the car, he told me “Oh wait, my shoelace became too loose.” Unaware of his intention to tighten it up, I bent and we managed to knock each other’s head like two goofs. Surprised, he asked me what I was doing. “Just trying to help,” I said, “thought you want me to tighten it up.” Visibly moved, he told me then that he could never imagine such a thing, how could I? Good question. How could I treat him like a clueless child? But it was too late, the rascal in him woke up and asked “What if I’d want you give me head right here, near the car?” I stopped for a second, bit stupefied, and dared him “Why not?” Showing my corporal intention to squat in front of him, I approached the zip of his jeans. Had he not chased that rascal away from his mind, cheering me up by the shoulders, I don’t know how far I’d have gone.
Consider the effect of my gesture on his imagination. Whenever we find ourselves in some parking lot, he opens the subject. Once, around a midnight in May, with the two of us in our car parked under the linden, I was determined to give him head. I felt the urge to do that. He was shy, too aware of surveillance cameras and other cars parking around. That was he and not me. I did not mind. On the contrary, it was hubby having that legendary mental blockage. See what I mean? The psychic barrier can happen to the husband as well. It’s not a wife’s exclusive!
As a loving husband, if you have reached this stage in your marriage, then your loving wife will give you all the head you dreamed of, and even some more, when you less expect. Don’t you be pushy, let her be!