Rumors to the Rescue in Love Affairs

We are confronted with rumors more often than we can imagine. The veil of lies and paltry interests (that some have redefined as “politics”) is constantly woven upon disseminating rumors, or else many public plans and advertised agendas would vanish along with the smoke whence they came from. Or one may consider hatred, revenge, retribution, etc. as “good reasons” to invent rumors and further spread them into myths and legends. As old news as it sounds, a rumor looks like wearing a fashionable coat at any given time.

What’s the point then? Where’s the connection between rumors, politics and healthy sex in marriage? Let us take a case involving celebrities from the 18th Century — not that the present would suffer of a gossip scarcity.

Maria Theresa Walburga Amalia Christina (German: Maria Theresia; 13 May 1717 – 29 November 1780) was the only female ruler of the Habsburg dominions and the last of the House of Habsburg. She was the sovereign of Austria, Hungary, Croatia, Bohemia, Mantua, Milan, Lodomeria and Galicia, the Austrian Netherlands and Parma. By marriage, she was Duchess of Lorraine, Grand Duchess of Tuscany and Holy Roman Empress.

Over the course of twenty years, Maria Theresa gave birth to sixteen children, thirteen of whom survived infancy.

Emperor Francis I died on 18 August 1765, while he and the court were in Innsbruck celebrating the wedding of his second son, Leopold. Maria Theresa was devastated. Their eldest son, Joseph, became Holy Roman Emperor. Maria Theresa abandoned all ornamentation, had her hair cut short, painted her rooms black and dressed in mourning for the rest of her life. She completely withdrew from court life, public events, and theater.

These are the facts. Now the folklore (hard-core porn alert) about her goes on rumors like the following: for her to produce such an abundant offspring, she may have borrowed sexual services from Hungarian horsemen; then the Transylvanian rumor 2.0 version further goes to tell that she even called in the horses — thus unstoppable were her hormones. I just feel bad writing down such abominations. But this struck me when hearing the myth casually vented around the kitchen by my daughter. With a major in Germanistic and a minor in History, her little joke could hardly pass unnoticed. I asked her if she seriously believes this nonsense. Sitting and thinking, she said that it’s not likely for a woman to behave like this, especially when being in an almost perpetual state of pregnancy. Indeed! I told my daughter, the mothering instinct always takes over the sexual fantasies and desires. Carrying sixteen children is an indicator of three essential aspects in her life: 1. an extraordinary strength, not only physical but also of character; 2. a healthy genetic heritage and 3. loving her man with passion and romance. I still have to find a mother of sixteen who will fantasize about casual love affairs, or downright sex-on-the-stairs with strangers. Nonetheless, the rumors took wings and you can find them in rap music ballads on Youtube, 250 years later. Isn’t that amazing?, …and appalling.

I suspect a pattern in the minds of men. This is responsible for fueling such rumors. Men love to fantasize, it is the most trivial fact in their lives: fantasy! According to the amount of pussy imagery travelling through their synapses, they build scenarios, wishful encounters, erotic scenes in forbidden places, with persons off-limits. Their minds call for a subconscious silent rebellion to break the social taboos.

My man told me (when asked) that he masturbated at Kim Wilde, Sigourney Weaver, Sharon Stone, Nicole Kidman, Heidi Klum and several other models or actresses, or just nude web women of the middle class. Not to bitch at him (why fight the nature?), I became a nude model myself — this way he may have me on both sides of his imagination: in bed and on screen, leaving me alone when I wish to catch up with my beauty sleep.

Now roll back into a hussar’s mind two and a half centuries ago. Who would have been the “Top Heidi” on his beat-the-meat list? Let not mention the eyes and ears in the walls and doors of those imperial palaces. The domestic staff, like the pornographers of the internet, had first hand, unmitigated access to the sexual lives of their masters. Tweet of mouth delivered sufficient (maybe subtle but relevant enough) data to the guards and other soldiers. Enough food for thought, for a nightly fantasy, for another one, for growing into a habit after another exercise in admiration with every parade, etc. It is what men think of women. It is an example of how proficient men deploy dreams based on nothing else than wishful thinking.

Here, men!, have a look at Maria Theresia’s pic! It is actually a painting. You’ll discover more about the modern, or timeless, hard-core erotica in Vienna, and way beyond, in my second book on Amazon: TITANIA – From Schönbrunn to Saturn (Naked Beyond Time & Space) [Kindle Edition].

Hope that I made your Sunday. Enjoy your fantasies and please keep them that way!

Maria Theresia of Austria.

Maria Theresia of Austria.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.