About every other blog tells us how to fight stress. And we ought to listen because stress is a cruel enemy of our well-being. However, like absolute freedom and equality, a completely nonchalant life is a mirage. When I became a mother, my stress indicators soared. When having four kids, the tension was not four times greater than when having one. Maybe sixteen times (consider an exponential hike).
Children or Career?
Make your pick, Madam. You can’t have both, here and now. One has to wait. For decades! They said these days on the news that there’s a program, an egg bank freezing the future for the ambitious ladies, for when they’ll find time away from their career. The scores run high in the thousands of Euros. The guarantees run as low as zero: will the frozen eggs stay viable, will the womb, the offspring, etc.? No doc gives a certainty.
If you’ve found love in your career then you may be remembered. Beyond this generation. Or not. But what if you’d found the love of your life in a crazy goofy man? Well, forget about your degrees, you need none to figure out what’s gonna happen to you. About a couple of decades and four children later, an ancient typewriter, a dusted briefcase and a few archive boxes in the garage are everything that’s left of your career. Two kids have already left to follow their own careers. The other two will follow them shortly. What should you do? Allow menopausal emotions to flood your life? Whine and despair? Is that you? The one giving up her professional career for mothering the kids you love and housewifing the man you love? Where has your ambition gone?
Being a woman is a ‘career’ too. Rather natural than professional, but nevertheless. Curbing my career, I chose to be a woman! Therefore how (and where) should I express my femininity, my sexuality? Should I bow to the social stigma blaming women that refuse the status of fifty-something invisibility?
Every woman loves to be admired, to be watched, to tease and please. A ‘career’ woman (if womanhood were to be considered a ‘career’) can make some pragmatical sense out of her visibility. In the age of the internet, you can exchange photos and moving pictures, or sell used panties perhaps… Consider it a lucrative business or a rewarding hobby.
Dignify Your Being
A young man has written me a letter, telling me that I am beautiful, that boys are curious and how awkward it might be for both (mother and son) if finding out… The only secret that is (and has to be) is a temporary one. Psychologically, the age of maturity for men revolves around 30, not 18 or 21. Boys become men, real men, in their thirties! Past this threshold the mature man will appreciate the efforts of a mature woman. Seeing life through the eyes of a taxpayer is different than the absent-minded perspective of a young man.
Young persons act and think more spontaneously. When I’ve decided to try modeling, back in 2012, telling my grown up daughters about this, one of them replied, smiling, “And dad will be your pimp? How romantic!” She knew what modeling is, having friends and colleagues doing this. Pimp was a metaphor. Or an irony?
Modeling at fifty-something is different than modeling at twenty-something. Or not. A thirty-something man would project a better judgment. Of what modeling is. Or not.
Being a Christian
Religious minds tend to rely on traditions. And fall on prejudices. Archaic societies have opted to completely cover women’s heads and bodies only because young impulsive boys can’t harness their sex drive. Slut shaming and victim blaming have been old news on this earth. But any good Christian would (should?) remember what Jesus told to the angry men.
Jesus faced a mob that was eager to execute a woman caught in adultery. He put a stop to it with a simple challenge: anyone who has no sin in their life should step forward and throw the first stone. That sentence is often cited as a reminder to avoid judging others when there are faults in your own life that need to be addressed. http://www.gospel.com/bookmarks/Cast-first-stone-Bible-John-8-7/9383
“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” John 8:7
Oh wait, who’s talking about adultery here? Who’s hiding in the dark here?? Being introspective, as a Christian, is trying to understand the unconventional in others. Loving thy uniform is easy. Loving the divergent is a virtue.
Caring about things, avoiding farther reaching consequences, should be a matter of concern for modeling mothers with sons that have yet to attend their mental thirties – the manly maturity. Living in a non English speaking world while modeling for the English speaking virtual world is a bonus.
Citing an anonymous post on a forum that matters: “To the parents out there: don’t make it taboo, make it safe. Those are two different things.”
As a fifty-something modeling mother, consider this: over decades, how do you wish to be remembered by your son, as a fuming Godzilla or like Bettie Mae Page?
The clip and the music. “Honeyed Tongue” by Josh Woodward.