Psycho blog by Ruddy Adam.
Question Regarding How to Detect Whether Someone Has Enough Traits to be a Psychopath
“Mary and I have been involved with someone who has several psychopathic traits. We’ve been talking to him and he answers questions to each of us in the same way each time, as if he has them memorized. He’s a top salesmen where he works. Can psychopaths be smart enough to do well in sales or business? We realize they destroy and don’t build and that’s what has us fearful with continuing a relationship with him. We don’t want to make a rash judgement and cut away from him without knowing for sure that he has enough traits to be a psychopath. Any advice on how to get further information out of him to learn more about him and his traits?” AJ & ME, GA
First, be careful! If he doesn’t already suspect you’re checking him out, he soon will.
Psychopaths will cut a relationship off quicker than a politician can change positions. That’s good—in one way, because you’re rid of them. In another way, it’s dangerous, because if they think you’ve found them out, they tend to want to take all they can with them before leaving. That one, last suck off a sucker!
You don’t want them to do that. You want to tie everything from your finances to your accounts to the chairs in your home/office down before you Dump and Run!!
You likely can’t protect everything, because when you’re sleeping, parasitic psychopaths are wide awake looking for something to steal, some way to manipulate their prey into doing what they want them to do, into giving them what they want. For the most part, however, you can protect yourself. Remember! Every day of their lives they have at least one lust they must appease. They are wholly concentrated on that! Which gives you some leeway to act—but you need to protect yourself quickly.
Remember not to ask him questions! Psychopaths pick up on that real quick—and give you nothing but prepared script. Or, they change the subject and spin off onto one where they are comfortable—and won’t give you any information about themselves. Which they won’t do anyway, at least anything that is true.
But if you let psychopaths talk, if they are genuine psychopaths, you’ll catch them in a lie or a contradiction. Or, they’ll promise something (the self-enhancing lie) that they can’t possibly do.
Self-enhancing comes first—and that’s true even if you’ve known them for a long time and know how they truly are. They’ll tell you they’re the greatest poker player on earth and can make millions playing—if they had just a little backing, from you, of course. Wouldn’t you love doing that? You don’t have to do any work yourself. Just sit back and let me do—everything! You could quit your regular job in a year! We’ll be richer than Doyle Brunson (the great, successful poker player).
Or, they’ll tell you they can make millions repairing old homes or building houses, if they had just a little financial
backing—from—you, of course. It’s a cinch! Nothing to it! Everybody’s doing it. We’ll flip a couple of homes along the way. I’ll do all the work. I’ll take care of everything! We can make millions together, you and me! We’ll make Donald Trump look like a pauper in a year’s time.
To get psychopaths to tell you anything, you have to brag on them, then sit back and let them talk. Listen carefully—and remember what they tell you, because psychopaths don’t usually have good memories. Unless they have exceptional minds, humans just don’t remember their lies or tales—anyway. Psychopaths tell so many they can’t possibly remember them. After a short while of listening to them you’ll catch them in a contradiction—or an outright lie.
Be careful! They can fool you if you go into a meeting with a genuine psychopath with a prior view of how they are. They are chameleons. Part of the reason they are such successful predators is that they pick up quickly on what you want them to be—and they become that person.
Most often psychopaths are not highly educated. Educated does not necessarily mean having gone to college, because a slick psychopath can find ways to weasel their way through school without learning anything.
That’s not by any means an absolute. It’s just a general rule. That often fools us about them because their grammar is usually bad, their manners are atrocious, and they’re not well-read people—except for gossip, which they frequently love.
Psychopaths try to dress up, but there’s always something slightly askew about their dress: the colors, the coordination, the sizes of their clothes, and they often don’t dress for the occasion.
They tend to be attracted to flashy styles, often clothes that you would never see a normal person wearing. They may do something like wear a silk shirt or blouse and/or patent leather shoes to a pool party. In other words, unless they have someone helping them, they may not know how to dress down.
This very often sets them up in our minds as if their mentality is on the short end of the fishing pole. Psychopaths are not stupid! They don’t score well on IQ tests. True! But they are smart in other ways that IQ tests don’t check.
For instance, one of the reasons they can sell is because they are very good at memorizing scripts. That is, Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 type of thinking, and they are far more observant than the average Jack and Jill.
Formal sales nowadays are taught by exactly that method. Say this or do this and then observe your client, and when your client does or says a certain thing, move on to the next step.
Psychopaths do not negotiate well at all. That’s why when they’re in high-priced sales, they must go to the “sales manager” before they can make the final deal. Notice that you have to do that nowadays at car lots?
Just as they parasite off people they see as suckers, psychopaths are themselves more than likely undisciplined suckers. As we used to say about the ones we knew, “They can sell a fireman a fire extinguisher, but on the way out the door, he can sell it back to them for more than he paid for it.” To use a slight bit of hyperbole to make a point.
Both of them who got me and all of them I’ve known and my friends have known have been that way. Most of them can hustle up money, but day in and day out they stay broke. They have a difficult time managing finances. That type of managerial thinking is simply not normally in their playbook.
The second one who got me, Hornet, no one would ever think of as being smart. His grammar was horrible. His dress was terrible. The colors were off, and the sizes were almost always too small. If you gave Hornet all your money, your house and all its contents, along with your last pair of underwear and walked out the door broke and butt naked, he wouldn’t give you so much as a nod—much less a thank you. He was—as all of them I’ve known have been—so ungrateful you could not imagine it.
Yet, I caught Hornet in so many lies and tales—and I called them on him, because I wanted him to know that he could not lie to me, that he could not pull out all the persons on me that he used to deceive people so he would stop doing it. No matter! He still lied. Psychopaths can’t help but lie!
Hornet shunned talking to me as much as he possibly could, but he honed his lying to me by saying things that he thought I could not possibly prove he was lying about. He didn’t care that I didn’t believe him; in his mind if I couldn’t prove he was lying, then he had accomplished deceiving me. He never knew I had a very honest spy telling me the truth about what was going on. That’s how the spy and I kept him from ruining and robbing us beyond repair.
Point! Psychopaths are beyond devious. They cannot stop lying. They cannot stop trying to deceive us. They have the ability to hone their lying and deceiving skills out past where most of our detection abilities lie. That’s why—after you identify someone has having enough psychopathic traits—you must Dump and Run!!
As a rule, unless you’re in a situation similar to the one I was in and was not able to get away from them immediately, when you do catch them lying or contradicting themselves, don’t dare call them on it!! Do a little conning yourself, by putting on your most interested face. Encourage them! Keep bragging on them. You’ll be surprised what you’ll get out of them. As the Criminologists has said about them, “Psychopaths can talk far longer than you’re able to listen.”
She normally had an hour and a half with them for her interviews. Once she told the supervisor over the interviews that she may need some extra time. He said fine. Take your time. She turned one loose that she had tagged as a psychopath and she recorded him talking for almost two hours—non stop. He contradicted himself eight times, and told six lies she could easily document.
Point! Let the bastards talk!
Bill Clinton has been known to go into informal settings where the people are adoring fans and there are no cameras—and talk non-stop for hours. He’ll continue until there are only a few people left, constantly self-enhancing and feeding the flames of his own fame.
Bragging on them and letting them talk is a tried and proven method of getting information out of psychopaths, which comes from my experiences with them, the Criminologist’s experiences after over 300 interviews, and the FBI’s discoveries from interviewing them.
But by letting them talk and then observing how they truly are in their lives, you have a pretty good shot at finding out whether they are honest—or crooks, whether they are genuinely normal or deadly fakes.
If you can get psychopats off script, that’s when you can potentially see more of their traits come roaring out. To do that you must not ask them questions. You should brag on them in some area of their lives and check out their reaction to your praise. Psychopaths are so deeply into themselves that they can get cranked up and you can’t shut them down.
Say something along these lines to them: You’re such a great salesman! Or, how did you become such a great gambler/builder/stock trader—whatever they claim they are. Then be sure to add something like this: That fascinates me! (Said with a lot of enthusiasm!!)
Then sit back, wait, and listen.
Let us know how things turn out, folks. Ruddy