Q & A by Ruddy Adam – guest blogger.
Question Regarding How to Tell Fake Flattery from Genuine Compliments
“What would be the best way to tell when someone is fake flattering us? Almost nobody now days says anything good about anybody. That alone has us very wary when someone says something good about us. A little help, thanks.” F. & E., OK
There are Three Excellent Methods to use to find out whether someone is sincerely complimenting you. Or (1) whether they are fake-flattering you to get something out of you, or (2) fake-flattering you to sell you something, or (3) fake-flattering you to get you to do something for them.
Number One: Ask yourself these three questions: (1) Are they trying to get something out of me? (2) Are they trying to sell me something? (3) Are they trying to get me to do something for them?
If they are doing any one of these three in Number One, then the flattery is most likely fake.
Number Two: Ask yourself these two questions: (1) Is it that person’s nature to be complimentary and/or uplifting? (2) Or is it an oddity that they’re all-of-a-sudden firing positives out about you?
If you answer yes to 2 in Number Two, then something is obviously cockeyed. Someone is very likely trying to manipulate you.
Number Three: Always do this: Closely watch what they do, after they’ve hit you with a string of flatteries.
If shortly thereafter they ask you for something, or try to sell you something, or try to get you to do something for them, then the flattery is very likely fake.
Note One: Regarding Number Two above, I had someone start to butter me up a full year before they asked me for a big loan. I figured something was coming because this person was generally negative—and never complimented anybody. When the loan shot came I wasn’t surprised.
Note Two: Regarding Number Three above, remember, psychopaths make grand claims and sensational promises, which is called self-enhancing—but they cannot deliver! Watch them closely to see if they fulfill their promises and claims. If they don’t, then you’ve have someone self-enhancing themselves to you, which is a form of fake flattery.
Note Three: There parasites lurking about in all areas of society: the pulpit, politics, sales, spoiled brats, etc. Most often when you give a parasite what they want, they leave you fairly quickly. They’re there to suck off their host; but they don’t like the host. To them the host is a fool—someone they deeply resent. They are wise, and they don’t want to be around someone they consider a fool (a sucker, a mark, a pidgin, an enabler, a host, an Anchor).
If someone takes off on you very shortly after you give them what they want, they are most likely parasites and you are their host. To be polite, let’s say again that they “deeply resent” their host!
Note Four: True Khristians ought to be uplifting and positive. When you’re around them they should make you feel that way. But they are not trying to get anything from you, or trying to sell you something, or trying to get you to do something for them. Khrist-lovers are givers—not takers!
For our safety: Ruddy