The topic of the day concerns a candid debate about a man’s readiness to sprinkle ladies, willing ones, all with consent, according to an old tradition taking place the second day of Easter. Which I politely decline. Most of the time. Depending on who’s the sprinkler.
Jacob Grimm, *Ostara, and Easter customs
In his 1835 Deutsche Mythologie, Jacob Grimm cites comparative evidence to reconstruct a potential continental Germanic goddess whose name would have been preserved in the Old High German name of Easter, *Ostara. Addressing skepticism towards goddesses mentioned by Bede, Grimm comments that “there is nothing improbable in them, nay the first of them is justified by clear traces in the vocabularies of Germanic tribes.” Specifically regarding Ēostre, Grimm continues that:
We Germans to this day call April ostermonat, and ôstarmânoth is found as early as Eginhart (temp. Car. Mag.). The great Christian festival, which usually falls in April or the end of March, bears in the oldest of OHG remains the name ôstarâ … it is mostly found in the plural, because two days … were kept at Easter. This Ostarâ, like the [Anglo-Saxon] Eástre, must in heathen religion have denoted a higher being, whose worship was so firmly rooted, that the Christian teachers tolerated the name, and applied it to one of their own grandest anniversaries.
Other Central European variations.
Up the skirt,
down the panties,
let me sprinkle your bunny.
In some modern literary pieces, even the spring-sprinkling gods and goddesses themselves are ‘appalled at the ignorance of humans.’ See this tiny quote from Astarte’s memoirs.
2071, April 7th in Jerusalem – Easter, the adorable bijou goddess, officially proclaims to all the corners of the Earth (and Moon, and Mars), that “Today is Resurrection Day!” Not Easter Day. “Celebrate my name on August twenty because I am not worthy to share my day with His,” said she to the revelatory stupefaction of the audience. Then the cute little thing has beamed up to an undisclosed location.
Unofficial chatter, family gossip if you wish, had this topic on our table with every new spring when we looked at confused fellow humans chasing eggs (bunny eggs, mind you), spraying virgins and ladies alike (in fertility rituals), painting eggs (hen eggs, more fecundity rites) instead of contemplating the Resurrection of Christ, or mixing it all up. Me and my twins, we were appalled (still are) at the ignorance of humans. Let’s hope that they’ve got it now. Finally.